When coaching, it is important to choose words properly not to encourage unnecessary grievances and defensive reactions of your coachees. Five phrases you should pay special attention to were summarized on HRComunication.com.
1. "You must..."
Coaches don't determine what somebody should do. They offer options and new ideas, not commands.
2. "Why can't you do it well?"
A coach shouldn't use questions to emphasize what his coachee is doing wrong. That would unnecessarily undermined the coachee's self-confidence. Rather select a statements like: "Let's look at how you can improve."
3. "That's good, but..."
Do not mix praise with criticism. Your coachees will then automatically expect a "but" and you praise will lose its sense. So, either praise or criticize.
4. "I've told you several times..."
If you have to repeat your advice, check where the problem is. Definitely, it needn't be just be on the side of the coachee. Search for ways to give your recommendations otherwise and explore the obstacles that prevent you from doing so.
5. "If I were you..."
Even if you mean this sentence honestly, it will be considered arrogant. You can give your coachees the impression of disrespect for their experience that way. Focus on strengths of your coachees instead of your own strengths.
-kk-